I cant please all of the people around me! Those are the words that lingers into my head today!

I was trying to be as nice, as respectful, as pleasant to other people, but not all of the people sees it. I dont know if they are blind or they are just acting blind, I dont know!

All my life, I want that every people around me will be pleased by my smile, by my simple laughs, by my being respectful. But there are people who dont see it, they think the other ways. Instead, they sees me as a liar, as a desrespectful person.

I stop and think about it, and try to analyze the situation, is there something wrong with me, maybe its me. But I concluded to myself, its not me, its them, maybe they are just insecure about themselves and they trying to give me frustrations, but they wont succeed, they just want to grab me down, but sorry for them, coz I will not allow them. I will continue what I think is right, coz there are a lot of people around me who love me for who I am and they are so pleased about me.

I am praying for her though, that someday, she will find happiness, that her life will not be miserable because of her attitudes. I took pity on her though, because she seems so miserable every single day of her life! I just do hope that she will change so that she can feel how good it is to be happy!

Good luck on her!

God Bless!!!!

                            

I made it!

Today, I was like at the top most of my anger, that I want to explode and want to show my anger and frustration. But thank God, I made it. I really have a bad temper, a very very bad temper. But today, I prove to myself that I can control it.

This past few weeks, I felt so exhausted, I felt so stress, emotionally and physically. Its like, I want to explode, I want to show to everybody that I am a person that have limitation, that I am not perfect. I felt like I am being  racially discriminated, I felt like somebody look down on me because I am a Filipino, and they might think that I am not smart enough to understand what they are talking about, but they are wrong! I felt rebellious about it! I felt that they dont trust me because I am idiot, or I dont really understand what I am doing. But it is very clear to me what I am doing and I clearly understand what they meant, its just that I cant voice out what is inside of me coz I am afraid that I may be understood.

But you know what, I think about all those things that I felt. And I asked the help and guidance of God.

I thank God that I have a partner in life that is always there beside me, who always give me some pieces of advice, and enlightenment.  He told me, "why are you so worried about other's feeling? You can't please other people, but instead, please yourself, and think that you are doing something, for yourself, not for anybodies happiness!!!".. And I came to think, my husband is right? Why should I please other people and not myself. My lifetime isnt enough to please the whole world and life is so short to worry about other people's happiness!

I think, that is really the reason why I was able to control my emotion, my feeling of anger today! I just cry it out and I told myself, that its part of life, specially at work.

Now, I dont care what the other people will say, for as long as I am doing what is "ought to be done", I dont care. Life is so short! I dont wanna waste my time spending it worrying and making myself cry! I will just let them who think of me poorly win.

Someday, I will be able to tell them that I am smart enough, that I am not the kind of person that they think, but I will not do it because I want to prove to them that they are wrong, but I want to prove to myself that I am worth of everything in this world, respect, love, friendship and honesty! I am not lying to myself!

I will lay all my plans, decisions and actions to our Lord God, I know that He is there to guide me always!

Anyways, I am happy and satisfied right now, I have a husband that is so supportive, who always open his hand to hug me when I felt like I am so down, who shed his tears with me whenever I am lonely, always lift my spirit and showed me what love is and what life is!

Those who make me cry, I thank them, because they made me more strong enough to struggle life, to make me more emotionally stable to this phase of life! Someday, I will came back to them and tell them that I am thankful for the trial that they gave to me. May the Lord God guide them too!

Ups and Downs

Life isnt fair! That is what commonly what the other peoplle will say when they are down and in trouble. But they dont realize that the down is the step to go up.

Life is like a roller coaster. There are times that you are at the top, and there are times that you are down. Life is all about ups and downs. We cant have such perfect life is you will not experience being down. We cannot be strong if we will not experience the hardships and trials. Its like a tree, we will never know how strong its branches are if it doesnt passed by typhoons.

Ordinary Miracle

Try to read this one. It made me cry and it really touches me. There is one thing that I am now sure of myself, helping is not all about religion, race, status. Its all about care and love to your fellowmen that you will do everything, risking your life just to help those person who are in need. I salute to those people who did the same thing as Southworth did. Read this story pls!!!

MAUSTON, Wis. (Dec. 23) - Capt. Scott Southworth knew he'd face violence, political strife and blistering heat when he was deployed to one of Baghdad's most dangerous areas. But he didn't expect Ala'a Eddeen.Ala'a was 9 years old, strong of will but weak of body — he suffered from cerebral palsy and weighed just 55 pounds. He lived among about 20 kids with physical or mental disabilities at the Mother Teresa orphanage, under the care of nuns who preserved this small oasis in a dangerous place.

On Sept. 6, 2003, halfway through his 13-month deployment, Southworth and his military police unit paid a visit to the orphanage. They played and chatted with the children; Southworth was talking with one little girl when Ala'a dragged his body to the soldier's side.

Black haired and brown eyed, Ala'a spoke to the 31-year-old American in the limited English he had learned from the sisters. He recalled the bombs that struck government buildings across the Tigris River.

"Bomb-Bing! Bomb-Bing!" Ala'a said, raising and lowering his fist.

"I'm here now. You're fine," the captain said.

Over the next 10 months, the unit returned to the orphanage again and again. The soldiers would race kids in their wheelchairs, sit them in Humvees and help the sisters feed them.

To Southworth, Ala'a was like a little brother. But Ala'a — who had longed for a soldier to rescue him — secretly began referring to Southworth as "Baba," Arabic for "Daddy."

Then, around Christmas, a sister told Southworth that Ala'a was getting too big. He would have to move to a government-run facility within a year.

"Best case scenario was that he would stare at a blank wall for the rest of his life," Southworth said.

To this day, he recalls the moment when he resolved that that would not happen.

"I'll adopt him," he said.

———

Before Southworth left for Iraq, he was chief of staff for a state representative. He was single, worked long days and squeezed in his service as a national guardsman — military service was a family tradition. His great-great-greatgrandfather served in the Civil War, his grandfather in World War II, his father in Vietnam.

The family had lived in the tiny central Wisconsin city of New Lisbon for 150 years. Scott was raised as an evangelical Christian; he attended law school with a goal of public service, running unsuccessfully for state Assembly at the age of 25.

There were so many reasons why he couldn't bring a handicapped Iraqi boy into his world.

He had no wife or home; he knew nothing of raising a disabled child; he had little money and planned to run for district attorney in his home county.

Just as important, Iraqi law prohibits foreigners from adopting Iraqi children.

Southworth prayed and talked with family and friends.

His mother, who had cared for many disabled children, explained the difficulty. She also told him to take one step at a time and let God work.

Southworth's decision was cemented in spring 2004, while he and his comrades watched Mel Gibson's film, "The Passion of the Christ." Jesus Christ's sacrifice moved him. He imagined meeting Christ and Ala'a in heaven, where Ala'a asked: "Baba, why didn't you ever come back to get me?"

"Everything that I came up with as a response I felt ashamed. I wouldn't want to stand in the presence of Jesus and Ala'a and say those things to him."

And so, in his last weeks in Iraq, Southworth got approval from Iraq's Minister of Labor to take Ala'a to the United States for medical care.

———

His parents had filed signatures so he wouldn't miss the cutoff to run for district attorney. He knocked on doors, telling people he wanted to be tough on criminals who committed injustices against children.

He never mentioned his intention to adopt Ala'a.

He won office — securing a job and an income.

Everything seemed to be in place. But when Southworth contacted an immigration attorney, he was told it would be nearly impossible to bring Ala'a to the United States.

Undaunted, Southworth and the attorney started the paperwork to bring Ala'a over on humanitarian parole, used for urgent reasons or significant public benefit.

A local doctor, a cerebral palsy expert, a Minneapolis hospital, all said they would provide Ala'a free care. Other letters of support came from a minister, the school district, the lieutenant governor, a congressman, chaplain, a sister at the orphanage and an Iraqi doctor.

"We crossed political boundaries. We crossed religious boundaries. There was just a massive effort — all on behalf of this little boy who desperately needed people to actually take some action and not just feel sorry for him," Southworth says.

He mailed the packet on Dec. 16, 2004, to the Department of Homeland Security.

On New Year's Eve, his cell phone rang. It was Ala'a.

"What are you doing?" Scott asked him.

"I was praying,'" Ala'a responded.

"Well, what were you praying for?"

"I prayed that you would come to take me to America," Ala'a said.

Southworth almost dropped the phone. Ala'a knew nothing of his efforts, and he couldn't tell him yet for fear that the boy might inadvertently tell the wrong person, upending the delicate process.

By mid-January, Homeland Security called Southworth's attorney to say it had approved humanitarian parole. Within three hours, Southworth had plane tickets.

He hardly slept as he worked the phones to make arrangements, calling the American embassy, hotels and the orphanage. His Iraqi translator agreed to risk his life to get Ala'a to the embassy to obtain documentation. Like a dream, all the pieces fell into place.

Southworth returned to Iraq for the first time since a deployment that left him emotionally, physically and spiritually exhausted.

His unit had trained Iraqi police from sunup to sundown; he saw the devastation wrought by two car bombings, and counted dead bodies. Mortar and rocket attacks were routine. Some 20 in his unit were wounded, and one died. He knew that nothing could be taken for granted in Baghdad.

So when he saw Ala'a in the airport for the first time since leaving Iraq, he was relieved.

"He was in my custody then. I could hug him. I could hold him. I could protect him.

"And forever started."

They made it to Wisconsin late Jan. 20, 2005. The next morning, Ala'a awoke to his first sight of snow.

He closed his eyes and grimaced.

"Baba! Baba! The water is getting all over me!"

"It's not water, it's snooooow," Southworth told him.

———

Police found Ala'a abandoned on a Baghdad street at around 3 years old. No one knows where he came from.

In all his life in Iraq, Ala'a saw a doctor 10 times. He surpassed that in his first six months in the United States.

Ala'a's cerebral palsy causes low muscle tone, spastic muscles in the legs, arms and face. It hinders him when he tries to crawl, walk or grasping objects. He needs a wheelchair to get around, often rests his head on his shoulder and can't easily sit up.

Physical therapy has helped him control his head and other muscles. He can now maneuver his way out of his van seat and stabilize his legs on the ground.

"I'm not the same guy I used to be," he says.

He clearly has thrived. At 13, he's doubled his weight to 111 pounds.

Ala'a's condition doesn't affect his mind, although he's still childlike — he wants to be a Spiderman when he grows up.

Ala'a's English has improved and he loves music and school, math and reading especially. He gets mad when snow keeps him home, even though it's his second favorite thing, after his father.

At first, he didn't want to talk about Iraq; he would grow angry when someone tried to talk to him in Arabic. But in the fall of 2006, Scott showed Ala'a's classmates an Arabic version of "Sesame Street" and boasted how Ala'a knew two languages and could teach them.

Soon he was teaching his aide and his grandmother, LaVone.

LaVone is a fixture in Ala'a's life, supporting her son as he juggles his career and fatherhood. One day, she asked Ala'a if he missed his friends in Iraq.

Would he like to visit them?

Big tears filled his eyes.

"Well, honey, what's the matter?" asked LaVone.

"Oh, no, Grandma. No. Baba says that I can come to live with him forever," he pleaded.

"Oh, no, no," he grandmother said, crying as well. "We would never take you back and leave you there forever. We want you to be Baba's boy forever."

———

Southworth knew once he got Ala'a out of Iraq, the hardest part would be over. Iraq had bigger problems to deal with than the whereabouts of a single orphan.

On June 4, Ala'a officially became Southworth's son. Though he was born in the spring of 1994, they decided to celebrate his birthday as the day they met — Sept. 6.

Life has settled into a routine. Father and son have moved into a new house with an intercom system, a chair lift to the basement and toilet handles. Southworth showers him, brushes his teeth and washes his hands. He has traded in his Chrysler Concorde for a minivan — it was too hard to lift his son out of the car.

In October, the Wisconsin's deputy adjunct general gave Southworth, now a major, permission to change units because of Ala'a. His former unit was going to Guantanamo Bay for a one-year deployment, and he didn't want to leave his son behind, at least for now.

He hopes one day to marry to his longtime girlfriend and have more children. He may run for Congress or governor someday — he's already won re-election once, and plans to run again next fall.

Not everything is perfect. Ala'a never encountered thunderstorms in Baghdad, and the flash-boom reminds him of bombs. He is starting to get over it, although he still weeps during violent storms.

But Ala'a — who picked out his own name, which means to be near God — knows he's where he belongs. Southworth always says Ala'a picked him, not the other way around. They were brought together, Southworth believes, by a "web of miracles."

Ala'a likes to sing Sarah McLachlan's song, "Ordinary Miracle," from "Charlotte's Web," one of his favorite movies. His head and body lean to one side as he sings off-key.

"It's just another ordinary miracle today. Life is like a gift they say. Wrapped up for you everyday."

Pastor's Challenge Shocks Congregation

My husband read this over the internet and he wanted me to read it. I thought that it is just a simple letter or article, but when I read it, it amazes me and made me realize of God's gift to us, our talents. Try to read this!!! Or you can read it, just click on this link

http://news.aol.com/story/_a/pastors-challenge-shocks-congregation/20071220192509990001?ncid=NWS00010000000001

Pastor's Challenge Shocks Congregation

By HELEN O'NEILL,
AP
Posted: 2007-12-22 07:00:06
CHAGRIN FALLS, Ohio (Dec. 20) - The Rev. Hamilton Coe Throckmorton shivered with anticipation as he gazed at the loot - wads of $50 bills piled high beside boxes of crayons in a Sunday school classroom.

Cautiously, he locked the door. Then he started counting.

It was a balmy Friday evening in September. From several floors below faint melodies drifted up - the choir practicing for Sunday service.

Throckmorton was oblivious. For hours, perched awkwardly on child-sized wooden stools surrounded by biblical murals and children's drawings, the pastor and a handful of coconspirators concentrated on the count.

Forty-thousand dollars. Throckmorton smiled in satisfaction as he stashed the money in a safe.

That Sunday, the 52-year-old minister donned his creamy white robes, swept to the pulpit and delivered one of the most extraordinary sermons of his life.

First he read from the Gospel of Matthew.

"And unto one he gave five talents, to another two, and to another one; to every man according to his ability."

Then he explained the parable of the talents, which tells of the rich master who entrusts three servants with a sum of money - "talents" - and instructs them to go forth and do good. The master lavishes praise on the two servants who double their money. But he casts into the wilderness the one so afraid to take a risk that he buries his share.

Throckmorton spends up to 20 hours working on his weekly homily, and his clear diction, contemplative message and ringing voice command the church. Gazing down from the pulpit that Sunday, Throckmorton dropped his bombshell.

Like the master, he would entrust each adult with a sum of money - in this case, $50. Church members had seven weeks to find ways to double their money, the proceeds to go toward church missions.

"Live the parable of the talents!" Throckmorton exhorted, as assistants handed out hundreds of red envelops stuffed with crisp $50 bills and stunned church members did quick mental calculations, wondering where all the money had come from. There are about 1,700 in the congregation, though not everyone attends each week.

The cash, Throckmorton explained, was loaned by several anonymous donors.

In her regular pew at the back of the church, where she has listened to sermons for 40 years, 73-year-old Barbara Gates gasped. What kind of kooky nonsense is this, she thought.

"Sheer madness," sniffed retired accountant Wayne Albers, 85, to his wife, Marnie, who hushed him as he whispered loudly. "Why can't the church just collect money the old-fashioned way?"

In a center pew, Ann Nagy's eyes moistened as she considered her ailing, beloved father, his suffering, and the song she had written to comfort him near death. She nudged her husband Scott. "Give me your $50," she whispered. Nagy knew exactly what she would do.

Throckmorton wrapped up his two morning services by saying that children would get $10. And he assured the congregation that anyone who didn't feel comfortable could simply return the money. No consignment to outer darkness for those who didn't participate.

Throckmorton is warm and engaging and approachable, as comfortable talking about the Cleveland Indians baseball team as he is discussing scripture. At the Federated Church, he is known simply as Hamilton.

But as church members spilled into the late summer sunshine that morning to ponder their skills and their souls, there were many who thought: Hamilton is really pushing us this time.

"There was definitely this tension, this pressure to live up to something," said Hal Maskiell, a 62-year-old retired Navy pilot who spent days trying to figure out how to meet the challenge.

Maskiell's passion is flying a four-seater Cessna 172 Skyhawk over the Cuyahoga County hills. He decided to use his $50 to rent air time from Portage County airport and charge $30 for half-hour rides. Church members eagerly signed up. Maskiell was thrilled to get hours of flying time, and he raised $700.

His girlfriend, Kathy Marous, 55, was far less confident. What talents do I have, she thought dejectedly. She was tempted to give the money back.

And then Marous found an old family recipe for tomato soup, one she hadn't made in 19 years. She remembered how much she had enjoyed the chopping and the cooking and the canning and the smells. With Hal's encouragement Marous dug out her pots. She bought three pecks of tomatoes. Suddenly she was chopping and cooking and canning again. At $5 a jar, she made $180.

"I just never imagined people would pay money for the things I made," Marous exclaimed.

Others felt the same way. Barbara Gates raised $450 crafting pendants from beads and sea glass - pieces she had casually made for her grandchildren over the years. Kathie Biggin created fanciful little red-nosed Rudolph pins and sold them for $2.50. Twelve-year-old Amanda Horner pooled her money with friends, stocked up at JoAnn's fabric store, and made dozens of colorful fleece baby blankets, which were purchased by church members and then donated to a local hospital.

And 87-year-old Bob Burrows rediscovered old carpentry skills and began selling wooden bird-feeders.

But it wasn't the money; everyone said so. It was something else, something far less tangible but yet so very real. For seven weeks an almost magical sense of excitement and energy and camaraderie infused the elegant red-brick church on Bell Street, spilling over into homes and hearts as the parable of the talents came alive.

In her sun-filled studio on Strawberry Lane, Shirley Culbertson felt it - a joyful sense of purpose that she had rarely experienced since her husband passed two years ago. Culbertson, 81, is a gifted painter and watercolors fill her house. But she discovered another talent during this time - knitting whimsical eight-inch stuffed dolls with button noses and floppy hats. She raised $90.

Zooming down country roads clinging to the back of a leather-clad biker, Florence Cross felt it too. For the challenge, Barry Biggin had parked his 2006 Harley Davidson Road King outside the church, offering 12-mile rides for $30. Cross was the first to sign up. Never mind that she is in her mid-80s, had never been on a bike, or that her husband of 60 years had to hoist her up.

"Oh, it was such a thrill!" said Cross, her face glowing at the memory. Her friends now call her "Harley Girl."

Martine Scheuermann lived the parable in her Elm Street kitchen, transforming it into an "applesauce factory" for several weeks. The 49-year-old human resources director would rise at 6 a.m. on Sundays in order to have warm batches ready for sampling at church services.

In his origami-filled bedroom on Bradley Street, Paul Cantlay lived the parable too. Surrounded by sheets of colored construction paper, the 9-year-old crafted paper dragons and stars and sailboats. He set up an origami stand at the end of his street, charged 50 cents to $5 depending on the piece, and raised $68.

Talents began multiplying at such a rate that the church held a bazaar after services on two consecutive Sundays for people to display - and sell - their wares.

The pretty little village on the Chagrin River falls had never seen anything quite like it. Everyone seemed to be talking about the talent challenge: over the clatter of coffee cups at Dink's restaurant, at the Fireside bookshop on the green, sipping drinks at the Gamekeeper's Taverne. Even members of other churches weighed in: Have you heard what's happening at Federated?

"Anyone can open their wallet and give cash," Kris Tesar said. "This was just an extraordinary process of exploration and discovery and of challenging ourselves. It became bigger than any one of us or than any individual talent."

Tesar, a 58-year-old retired nurse, discovered her talent in buckets of flip-flops for sale at Old Navy. She stocked up on yarn and beads and made dozens of funky, fluffy decorative footwear that were a huge hit with teens. Tesar raised $550 for the church, is still taking orders and is thinking of starting a business. Now even her children call her the "flip-flop lady."

People also got to know the "hen lady" - Gabrielle Quintin, who took to raising chickens on a whim 23 years ago when she moved into a 180-year-old house with a barn. Her "ladies," as Quintin calls her backyard flock, provide a welcome distraction from her nursing job in a cancer center. Quintin decided to put her brood to work for the church. For $10 church members could "hire-a-hen" and get three dozen fresh eggs complete with a photograph of the "lady" who laid them.

"It wasn't exactly spiritual, but I had a lot of fun," said Quintin, whose husband, Mike, made glass birdfeeders. "And it was just this great way of bringing everyone together and connecting with the church."

Kathy Wellman quilted. Mary Hobbs knit shawls and penciled portraits. Cathy Hatfield auctioned a ride in her hot-air balloon. Norma and Trent Bobbitt pooled their money with another church member to hire a harpist from the Cleveland orchestra and host an elegant evening dinner party. Folks paid $50 each to attend and the Bobbitts made over $1,200.

And physician Peter Yang took over shifts from other doctors in his partnership (he used his $50 for gas to get to the hospital) and raised $3,000.

The deadline to return the money was Sunday, Oct. 28. Nervously, some church council members suggested posting plain clothes security guards at services that day. But Throckmorton would have none of it. He insisted that the spirit of the challenge, which had already inspired so much goodwill, would carry them safely through. And it did.

Organ music filled the church as people silently filed down the aisle, dropped their proceeds into baskets, and offered testimonials about what living the parable had meant to them. Throckmorton thanked everyone for their generosity. Then he started counting.

A week later he delivered the joyful news: They had more than doubled the amount distributed.

The initial take was $38,195 over the loan, but the amount is still growing. Some people didn't make the deadline, or extended it in order to finish their projects.

The final sum will be divided equally between three charities: One-third will go to a school library in South Africa where the church is involved in an AIDS mission; one-third will go to micro-loan organizations that provide seed money for small businesses in developing countries; one-third will help the Interfaith Hospitality Network in Cleveland, specifically programs for homeless women.

Throckmorton is asked all the time if the talent challenge will become an annual event, but he is doubtful. It was a special time and a special idea, he says, and he is not sure it could be re-created or relived.

Yet in a very real sense, it lives on. Church members who never knew each other have become friends. And orders for applesauce, flip-flops and Rudolph pins are still rolling in for Christmas.

There are other, more poignant reminders. Like Ann Nagy's haunting tribute to her father, who died of brain cancer on Oct. 11.

Nagy, 44, has always been a singer with a clear lovely voice. It wasn't until her father grew ill and moved into a hospice that she started writing songs. She found solace in the music and a way of communicating that was sometimes easier than spoken words.

At hospice, patients are taught five simple truths to tell their loved ones before they die: I'll miss you. I love you. I forgive you. I'm sorry. Goodbye.

Borrowing from that theme, Nagy wrote a farewell song for her Dad. She pooled her $50 talent money with her husband's share and cut a CD to sell to church members. Ironically it was finished just an hour before her father passed, on Oct. 11. Nagy stood by his bed and sang it for him anyway.

On Nov. 11 - her father's 72nd birthday - Throckmorton preached a sermon about dying. He invited Nagy to the altar. There, accompanied by a cellist and a pianist she sang "Before You Go."

Her voice soared. The congregation wept. The parable of the talents had never seemed so alive.

Gratification and Gratitude

Its Tuesday. 13th of November, year 2007! I am still a little sore from my surgery of my canal palate (canal palate repair)!

I never thought that I will have this surgery, I thought that I will be like this forever, with a canal palate that affects my pronounciation of words and articulation.

I never expect that this things will be happening to me. I thought I was only dreaming. I thought that it wasnt for real, that it was just a nice dream, that any minute I will woke up and found out that it is just a dream.

We went to Darthmouth-Hitchcock Medical Hospital Friday morning at around 8 o'clock. And following the insturctions sent to us, we went to the office called Same Day Surgery Program office. And we went there with my husband Chuck and register. After that, Dr. Mitchell Stotland, MD, who does the surgery,  went to see me and explains to me everything about the surgery.  I owe him a lot, and he made my life change!

After that, we went to the pre-operating room, in which they monitored my vitals, my heart beat rate, my pulse rate, my blood pressure and everything. There were doctors who went by to see me and explains about my surgery. In short, they make sure first that I know the surgery process. I felt so honored by that time. I want to feel nervous. But I couldnt find it. I want to be scared and afraid of the outcome, but still its like I felt normal, not so happy, a little excited. I am excited coz if the surgery will be successful, I can be able to sing for my Mom and Dad and to my siblings. I love to sing. Eventhough I have my defect, I still sing. When I was in my elementary grade, I used to sung solo infront of my classmates. Heheehe:)!!! And I was so proud of it. But when I grow older, I felt ashamed already to sing. So I just sing if I am alone. I want to sing a song for my mom and to my siblings, and the title of the Song is "Wind Beneath My Wings" by Bette Midler. Everytime I hear that song, my tears will roll down on my cheeks unnotice. Someday, if I will be totally healed, I can sing that song to my Family, they are the wind beneath my wings.

I also want to sing a song for my ever beloved husband, Chuck, coz he is the one that lift me up and who is always at my back to help me up when I am down, and always right beside me every moment of my life. I wanna sing the song entitled "Endless Love". I can feel how much he loves me, how he took care of me and how great a man he is. I am blessed that I have him in my life! He is the one who make me a better person, support me in everything that I want to do. I could say that I've found that so-called Endless love in him.

Those were the things that I had on my mind that time before my surgery. And when I woke up, I felt a sudden change! Although I need adjustment, but I felt so happy and contented at that time. My husband was there when I woke up. The Nurses took care of me. I felt like I am a new person now! I felt like my life is becoming better and better! For now, I am still in the process of healing and adjustments.

There is nothing more I can ask to God! I have everything. My great family and my ever-loving husband! All I could say now is to continue to show to them my love and care and my deepest gratitude. I thank God for all this blessings that I have!

There are a few things that I still asked from God! His Divine Guidance! His Endless love and protections! And May He will continue to enlighten up our minds and that we will be able to do what is ought to be done and what is right!

I wanna say Thank you for all the people who support me and pray! Thank you! Thank You! Thank you so very very much!

I hope I can make it!

I want to become a Doctor someday! Those are the words that echoed on my mind eversince when I was still young! I can imagine myself wearing a white doctor suit with the stethoscope hang on my neck and talking to my patient and trying to help patient.

How nice it is if I can be one of the best doctor, that I can be able to help those sick people and will be able to touch their lives. Help, care and love, those are the motto that I want to have if I will become a doctor someday!

Help. Help those people who need my help, without discriminations. Helping people is not looking on what is on their pocket, what and who they are. We are helping because we know that they need "it". 

Care and Love. Taking care of them, not treating them as just one of the million patient, but show them care and love. Coz the life of every person are precious, no matter "who" that person is.

I hope that I can reach my goals and ambition someday. To become a Doctor. To become an effective and efficient doctor. To become a helpful, good and sincere doctor.

But before that, I want to pass first the first stage. To pass the exam for Nursing. I hope God will guide me and lead me to a right path. God's will be done on me.

I hope that I can make it and will be able to surpass all the trials that will come on my way if ever I will be leading this path. That I will be able to be constructive and be set-focused on my goals to achive my ambitions in life!

Hope that God will help and guide me all the way!

 

Ambition and Challenges!

Ambition. What is the rule of our ambitions in our life and what is the effect of it to our day to day life! Be aware of it! Ambition have two paths, success and failure! Its easy to say that you want to succeed, that you want to be at the top level of your ambition. But it is hard to achieve it, its not easy!

That is one thing that I am pretty sure! Its damn hard to achieve what we want to happen to our lives. Life is not always fair! We must be wise on how to achieve our goals in life. We must have to be adamant to achieve it, and set our ways and methods on how to achieve it!

Ambition is like a challenge to us, a test to our thinking capacity, our strength to set goals and ways to achieve it.

But we must have to be careful to chose of our ambition. We must have to think what will make us happy, real happy! What is real happiness? Real Happiness is the kind of feeling that you will feel inside your heart that will make you feel satisfied and fulfilled in life.

Like what I have just said, ambition is not just because we wanted a thing or a position or dignity or anything else, but because we wanted to be happy with the outcome of that ambition. Our ambition is like a mirror of yourself, it will describe of what kind of person you are and what are your principles in life!

Dont give up! Stand firm! And be strong to face the challenges! Always remember that the prize of all the sufferings, hardships and trials are waiting at the end of the quest. And that your happiness is in your hand.

Always remember, ambition will lead us to a good way and to a right way! And so be aware of it too!

If you have ambition, set your goals on how to reach it, amidst of hardships, trials and sufferings that you will have! Be adamant to reach it and be positive that you can reach it! Dont give up. Be humble and be patience.

Filipino's Make me Puke by Art Bell

I read one of the forwarded email that alarms me and really bothers me everyday. Here is the email that I receive:

Filipinos... ..*make me puke* (Art Bell)

As we've all come to notice, in the past few decades, Filipinos have begun to infest the
United States like some sort of disease. Their extensive involvement in the U.S. Armed Forces is proof of the trashy kind of qualities all filipinos tend to exhibit on a regular basis. You can see this clearly by studying the attitudes and cultural Icons of most Filipino Americans.

Origins of Pinoys/Pinays:

Are they really asian? Well we've come to accept the fact the filipinos come from a part of the world known as
South East Asia . But the term " Asia " is used in the wrong way. You may notice that contemporary Filipino Americans try very hard to associate themselves with groups that we know as Asian. I cannot count the number of times I have seen a ' Third World ' Filipino try to connect themselves to the chinese or Japanese people. There is no connection and here's why. The Philippines is a Third World country. Nothing respectable has EVER been created by Filipino people during our entire human history. Young filipino men in America have become obsessed with "import racing". They have an enormously perverted affection for Japanese cars. It's a common phenomenon. In their minds, these Filipinos somehow believe that they are asian and that it somehow connects them to Japanese people and japanese cars. They often take credit for the ingenuity of Japanese people and say h
You can see the connection. It's even funnier that, in
Japan , Filipinos are heavily discriminated against. The only filipinos that can live successfully in Japan are the filipino prostitutes. But that's the case for most Filipino people no matter where they live in the world. Now we've come down to this fact...and it is a fact.

Nothing in Filipino Culture can be seen as Asian.

They have no architectural, artistic, or cultural influence which is in ANY way, asian. Thinking of the great countries in
Asia such as Japan , Korea , and China there is no way you can possibly connect the Philippine Islands. This assault by filipino americans to connect themselves with the great peoples of North East Asia is foul and disgusting. Try visiting a young filipino's web site too.

You'll see something called the "Asian IRC Ring". It has to do with the chatrooms. The most horrible thing about this is that these TRASHY people are trying to associate themselves with
Asia again!! People in Asia don't act like this at all. What we are seeing here is the natural Filipino in its element with full access to technology and this is how they act! You will consistently see this behavior over and over again.

Another interesting thing is that these "thirdworld" people also frequent RC chatrooms such as #chinese #japan and #asian. They must believe that they are somehow related racially or culturally to North Asians. But it's completely WRONG! There might have been some distant contact With China and even less with
Japan during World War II, but these people are actually more closely related to african americans and Mexican americans.

Do the parents of these young filipinos know what's going on? Would they accept this? I believe that they would and do. This is the natural "Trash" element in filipinos manifesting itself. Nothing good has ever come from
Philippines and I don't believe anything good ever will.

Recognizing your Roots (A Message to Filipinos). To all filipino people:

Please recognize your ROOTS! You come from the
Third World ! You country is a disgusting and filthy place. Most people there live in poverty! Your culture has MUCH MORE SPANISH influence than chinese, and absolutely no JAPANESE influence whatsoever. People in Japan and China , do not act like you. They do not constantly talk about sex and they have a MUCH HIGHER level of RESPECT for each other. There is NO WAY that you can connect yourself to Asia other than location.

Your culture and technological advancement does no! t even come CLOSE to What Chinese, people have done in the past and what Japanese and Korean people are doing now! Everything you do is distinctly filipino. You cannot take credit for Japanese cars, video games, or Hentai! It's not an "asian thing" it's an "American thing". You have no concept of culture...no concept of asian ideas or asian philosophy! Can you demonstrate how you use Confucianism or Taoism in you everyday life?? You can't. And you will NEVER be able to.

I understand that you are trying to create an identity for yourselves as young people... but it is NOT related to
Asia . Your Identity is Filipino.
That's all you are. Just Filipino. Think about what that means....


When I read this email, I was so angry and so mad. It is so mean and Bell is so prejudice. But, I told myself, this is a challenge to all Filipinos. So, before making judgement about this email, I research over the internet about this and I found out that this is just a "hoax" and that Mr. Bell is innocent about this, and actually, Mr. Bell's wife is half Filipino. And after this alleged email, he received death threats. I dont know if its true. Base on my study about Mr. Bell's reputation here in USA, I found out that he is an intellegent man, and so I doubt that he will make this kind of email without studying further his judgement about Filipinos history. I try to print out that email and study the structure of it, and base on what I notice, this is not the kind of email that Mr. Bell would write, I notice that the person who wrote this dont know the roots of Filipinos, the Philippine history.

So, just an advice to all Filipinos, dont be so critical about this issue, and we will take this in a constructive way and we will take this as a challenge to all of us.

For the person who wrote this hoax, I will tell you, I can tell what kind of person you are based on the words and judgement you wrote. I know, you are an Asian. I dont know what is the reason behind why you wrote this kind of email, you are so mean, honestly. And please, just an advice to you, please, please, study first our history before you judge Filipinos, try to be an intellegent person and dont base your judgement on one specific person coz that is biased. I know you are an intellegent person, so dont act like you are dumb just because of one person who ruin your ego, ruin your pride. Its not good for you. You are ruining not the Filipinos, but your dignity. dont you think that after this, Filipinos and other culture will be proud of you? Absolutely "NOT", maybe some of them, but majority of them will hate you and will look down on you. So, just an advice, stop what you are doing, coz you are not helping yourself, but ruining yourself. 

May the Lord God Bless you and guide you in everything that you will do!May you will be in peace at all time after what you have done.

Conflicts within

Ourself is our bestfriend and at the same time our best enemy. Its quite complicated. We will deal with a lot of obstacles, like problems in ourselves, problems that surrounds us and the problem in our nation and even the problem of the world is on our shoulder.

I could say for myself that I had been into a lot of problems, not from other people but me, myself. I thought that whatever that comes to our minds are right, that whatever we think is the best thing to do, but it isnt as simple as that. To being honest, I am a kind of a very pessimistic and very sensitive person. I thought that being pessimistic is okay and its alright, but am wrong. Its like a rust that gently makes me weak and my dispositions went to a wrong direction and clouded my thinking and my feelings.

Until now, am still dealing with it inside me, its like that I am trying to conquer the evil inside me and am still fighting with this evil within myself. I dont wanna ruin my dispositions in life, my goals, with this kind of behavior.

Its hard, really hard, coz am fighting it alone deep inside me, no other person who can help me but myself. I believe in myself, my capacity to deal with this. I thank God that I have such a wonderful man in the world, my husband, who really understands me amidst of this behavior that I have, for my shortcomings and flaws in our relationship.

I do hope that one day, I will just realize to myself that its all gone, and that what is being left in me is the traits that will help me becoming a better person, a true person who can help in good ways, a person that is open-minded, understanding and a person that will really make good decisions in life and a person who are grateful enough to what she have. This are the qualities that I want to have.

May God help me!